My life, up to this point in time has been one great adventure. I have spent my life seeking and searching the answers to three questions. Which have been with me since around twelve years of age; "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" And what am I, to be about? {Going to where?] I have asked, looked and listened. I have studied all manners of things. I have worked, here there and everywhere. I have been to the top of the mountain and walked in the valley below. I've experienced the best of times and the worst of times, while walking in and out of the shadows, into the sun. I have had my dreams and I have lived my dreams. I have had my wins and my losses. How fortunate, I have been.

I have loved, laughed and lost. I have felt the warmth and closeness of women. As well as their coldness, separateness and disaffection. But all in all, love has been good to me, along the way. There have been those moments of sheer ecstasy and communion. That has touched the hem of the heavens. And then those" thorny" moments that bleed relationships of their innocence and purity. What is that old saying; "It is better to have loved and lost. Than to never have loved at all". But I would add a note to that quote. I have never felt that any experience or relationship, that was less than complete, was a loss. The very experience of anything has its value, if one can only see. Becoming aware of the moment and the very" thus-ness" of that particular moment.

Regrets, yes, but only a few. They happened, but the past is the past. And should be left in the past. . Life is for the joy of living. Sad but true, to many worry about the past which they cannot change. Or the future which may never be. If we will but take care of today. Doing that which is necessary, as opposed to that which is unnecessary, our pasts and futures will be just fine.

Since this is being written before my demise. And since the date of my departure from this spinning globe has yet to be. As to where or when, I may out live these present musings. And they will have lost their "intent." Or, I may in the meantime have discovered that the best message. Should have been one of silence. No message at all.

Yet, I feel compelled to say my piece, to recite my litany. Although I would ask of those who might read these words. To please remember, that the word is but a mere re-presentation of that which "just is." That I, the observer am not that which is observed. And that my words in describing, is not the described. That which I perceive is not necessarily "the" Reality that just is. It is each persons' responsibility to see and hear for themselves. And not climb any mountain, while being carried up on someone elses' back. It is the journey that is important, not so much the destination. For the map is never the territory.

Both the seeing and hearing needs to be; seeing and hearing at its' highest intensity. {An intense, passionate attentiveness.} A total giving of oneself to the moment, attending to that at hand. A perception that is centered, focused in on with the intent to inquiry within, to witness "the Reality" of the object, animate or inanimate. Bringing no prior conceived conclusions, judgements, biases or prejudices to the table. To see the actuality, the reality as it is, not as one wishes it to be.

Sort of seeing with our ears and hearing with our eyes. Are we not more prone to look and listen, than to see and hear? Our attention span seems to be the culprit, because our minds suffer from "wanderlust." Our constant chattering mind robs us of both hearing and seeing, plus  seemingly need to live in the past and the future while but existing in the present. All of which affects both sight and sound.

I hesitated to write the word "listening." Simply because, to many say that they are listening. When in fact they are listening to their own chattering mind, that is usually evaluating, assessing and judging as to what is being said, in conjunction with some prior images from out of the past. Consequently what is being said is being filtered through many preconceived images and reality structures that are issued out of our fragmentary thinking. And we see the moment in the grave-clothes of yesterday.

The realities that exist outside the paradigms of the mind, is Reality as it is. Once this same Reality is submerged within our minds. It resembles, or rather it is much like that which happens when we take a straight stick and submerge it, into water. It appears distorted, although we know that it is not. For we have seen the reality of the stick before we submerged it. When we know Reality for what it is, then we know false realty, for what it is not, or vice versa.

I hope you are not only seeing the words but also hearing the subtle nuances, Which is behind, above and below the words. The silence of "attention", is the criterion, for one to sees and listens. Here the invisible is made visible; we know, we know.

I knew you were going to ask, how do we know? And I am going to say; "I do not know". As they say, "how do you like those apples?" Now I have another little goodie for you; "you will know when you know." Nothing like cryptic statements, yes? Come walk with me for a while. Let us see and hear, let us see if we can hear with our eyes and see with our ears.

There in the shadows is crouched a child whose skin is punctuated by protruding bones and eyes that are receding further and further back into his head. Could be your child in fact it is your child in a way.

And over there, a young girl trying to wash away the shame of rape by a freedom-fighter. Who believes that, the enemy is but an animal. To be killed or de-humanized.

And there! Look. See that woman seated in the midst of that rubble, holding her two dead children close to her breast, as she rocks back and forth in her agony and pain.

Over there, that small barefooted boy armed with an AK 47 who has been forced to fight and kill in a war that is not his. Nor of his making.

See the millions upon millions and beyond, as they go about their daily lives in the midst of the most appalling living conditions, imaginable. Sleeping, living and eating {when food is to be found} in places that are as small as some of the closets; one would find in the houses of the Western world. See also, the most horrendous hygienic and sanitation conditions that would stagger ones' rationality. Where water is a luxury, and the water that is used, if and when there is any. Would cause the analysts at the" Disease Control Center" in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, reoccurring nightmares.

Do I hear a cry? "No not I,"  I am not responsible for any of this! I just mind my own business and do my thing. I am not part of all the confusion and problems of the World. It is just "Molly and me and baby makes three". But are we not the World and the World, is it not you and I? Think about it just for a moment. Would the World be like it is? Without us, good, bad or indifferent? I am not just speaking about the physical world. Which we repeatedly rape. And are methodically destroying day by day. But I am also speaking of our propensity for the more subtle ways we destroy, as we de-humanize and de-self one another. Which we are so skilled in doing, at times.

The "seeing and the hearing", how very important this is as you walk, the byways and pathways of life. In and out of the moments of daily living. Your second by second encounter with "all and everything". "Seeing and hearing" reality as it is." Brings forth attention and awareness, or is it the other way around. Attention and awareness gives birth to really seeing and hearing. Forget about the batting order or the egg and the chicken issue. Just do it, either one or the other or both. And you and the World will be better for it. But do not take my word or words for all this. Just try it, you might like it. And furthermore, don't knock it until you have given it a fair shake.

As I often repeat; the word, the description, the seen, the known, the heard, is not Reality. Reality, just is. Reality hides in between the words and phrases, above and below the seen and heard, behind all those varied ways we experience the many impressions of living. That filters in and out of the brain, this mind of ours. That so capable of selective amnesia.

In all our knowledge, we share it with our ignorance.

We cannot will Truth, or for that fact; we cannot will Virtue, Freedom, Love, Compassion, or Goodness? These just are, they "come in the night" so to speak. They are not on command. They cannot be a result of effort, or a decision on our part. For in doing so they would lose their "is-ness", their purity. And become fragmented because our thinking is fragmented. "Aye, here is the rub. " We don't find the above, they find us. They are not lost, we are. As I said to someone in the past; "they wouldn't recognize "Love", if it jump up and kissed them". Because there mind, body and heart is always somewhere else. In this case, the person was so preoccupied with "self", the present was oblivious to them. The self-chattering of their mind took center-stage. Their fears, anxieties, guilt and shame over shadowed all their relationships

Back to this finding by not finding. We have been so conditioned, so programmed by our education, by parental, societal and peer influence. We have convinced ourselves that everything worth having must be attained by strenuous effort in relation to that particular goal.
The answer is yes and no. In some things a concentrated effort is needed. To achieve excellence, to win the Gold at the Olympics, etc. In the "Becoming and Being" the Truth, Beauty, Goodness, and Love. The words, "Be still and know" holds the secret.

There is an old story that comes to mind. Someone once asked a Steamboat Captain on the Mississippi River; if he knew where all the sand bars and the submerged logs were. His answer was, "No". " But I knows where they ain't". We may not be able to search out, to find Truth. But we can search out and find that which is false. Fact: War does not solve our problems. Here we ask, for one to look at the actually of life, as it is. To see and hear the disorder and the chaos, the pain and the sorrow, the emptiness, despair, poverty of the spirit plus all the indictments against our fragmented society. It is in seeing and hearing that which is not true, that which is false. That helps the soil to be prepared. "Be still and know". Truth is but a breath away.

The din and the chatter of the World and of our minds rob us of our need for silence. Or we could say our need for space. For silence is space or vice versa. There is a great need for a "time out" in this constant confusion and disorder both in our lives and in society. A time to smell the roses and stop this frantic running after. When in truth, things are chasing us.

The philosopher, Descartes said; "I think, therefore I am". As to what we have been discussing. We are and the world is, what we think. And herein lies our problem. Since our experiencing, our memories and our knowledge is incomplete and fragmented. So are we, and so is our world. For we are the World, as of now. We cannot separate the two. We cannot blame the World; the World was find until we came upon the scene. And it has never been the same since. It would help if we could say; "I am aware, therefore I am".

Here, we are using "awareness" in the sense of being attentive, to attend to "all and everything". To give of our attention too. To be "alive"" to the moment. As the parable goes, when the wise man was asked. "What does attention mean?" His reply was;" Attention means Attention". And again if one strives, try's to use ones' will and effort. The attention we are speaking about will never come to pass. This attention comes out of the "sea of silence." It just is.

We are not talking about concentration. For concentration involves effort, a striving after a goal. Which in turn places the mind in a conflicting role. A struggling that entails moving from what is to what should be. In this case a centering, a focusing that is forced.

We associate such words as being riveted to or having a rapped attention. The type of attention one has when they are into a book or in watching a very suspenseful movie. The residual quality of this sort of attention is found in the non-critical. Of not judging, evaluating or assessing at the point of entry into the moment, into the "Now". In way we are speaking about an emptiness of the mind. Where thought, is momentarily suspended. And the moment holds center-stage. And we are single-minded at this intersection. The "me" the "I" and the "my" has left the scene. While the moment stands alone, unencumbered, on its' own merit and speaks out of the "sea of silence". I do not mean for this to sound obtuse or esoteric. For it is neither. It is natural, actual and factual, it just is. Just be "silence". Do not use the will, or effort, just be it. . Just do it. Cease the mind chatter, the usual linear thinking. Just be it and do it.

{Note}

When we hear the words, emptiness of the mind, or words to that effect. We envision a type of mindlessness, "a ship without a rudder". This is not the intent of the word. The emptying of the mind refers to the temporary stoppage of thoughts. As one is meditating, as one is into those areas that are beyond basic sequential linear thought. We cannot nor should we give up thinking. It is essential for this time and space and for daily activities. But when it comes to the psychologically domains. Thinking can become a liability. To many think themselves into more conflict and confusion, misery, sorrow and loneliness; than their mind can cope with

I have talked throughout my life about the importance of self-knowledge, a knowledge that can lead one to self-understanding, on to self-awareness, to becoming, a being. A seeing within, so we might understand the complexity of our own human nature. As to how we perceive, think and do. We at times refer to this, as having in-sight. Insight allows us to have out-sight-ness. By this we mean; by looking inside one's self, it allows one to see and know reality as it is. This type of seeing, of knowing allows one to see the fragmentary aspects of our piecemeal knowledge which we have inherited out of our own script writing; as we have perceived life up through our staging years. And it points up, the glaring deficiencies of the fragmented thinking of past civilizations. With all the myths, superstitions and false reality. It is important that we understand that our experiences, our perception, our knowledge and our memories are but partial pieces of that Reality which just is. And that this is equally true of the inherited knowledge from out of the eons of time.

It is certainly a fact that one can think and do {in most cases, pretty much what they want or desire}. Choice becomes a factor in this process of thinking and doing. The choices we make structure our own personal realities. As to how we see ourselves, others, the World and the things of the World. But in light of what we have been speaking about. As to our fragmentary thoughts and the inherited fragmentary thinking out of the past. It is necessary for us to ask ourselves. What is real as opposed to that which is unreal? To ask of our selves, what is Truth as opposed to that which is false? To ask of ourselves, as to what is Light as opposed to that which is darkness? And to ask ourselves as to what is necessary as opposed to that which is unnecessary? In living a life in balance and harmony, with "all and everything". Recognizing the fact that we belong and are part of the "Human Family". And that we are Children of the Universe and beyond. We are the" Inheritors" of all there is or ever will be. How odd it is that we are not more thankful than we are? Why is this so?

Well, I have said my piece. Lived my life and liked it. To borrow the lines from "The Chairman of The Board", Mr.'' S'', "I did it my way". Come to think about it. That song pretty well, says it. For life has been good to me. And  when the "Walk" is finished. Just maybe, along the "way". My "Being", my Presence caused someone to ask of themselves; "who am I, why am I here and where am I going?

Till we meet again.........

Hawk Mc Ginnis

PS.

I said in the above text that I had very few regrets in life, which is true. For if my life would have been different. I would not be writing as I am now. Nor would I have done all the things that I have done up to this point in my life. For I have seen, heard and experienced enough for a half a dozen lives. How privileged I have been. And for all this I am indeed thankful.

Postscript:

Hello, I am still here. I guess, I'll unpack my backpack. And hang around for a little while longer. And see what I can see.

See you!